Saturday, August 20, 2011

An Unselfish Act Reaps Unexpected Return

I was disappointed. "Why would he even think of going somewhere this evening??? I mean, he'll be gone all weekend. Doesn't he want to spend time with us? Doesn't he know I don't want to be stuck at home, again, with her? Doesn't he know evenings are the hardest? Why doesn't he want to spend time with us?" These are the unformed thoughts I was feeling when Coach asked how I felt about him going to a local high school football game. He'd be back in time for the bedtime routine, he said. "He's always later than he says. Why does he always do this?" The thoughts rolled. But, for once, I did not say them. Not one. Instead I muttered, "Let me think about it." Fortunately, we were running errands. I had time to think as we drove from one to the other... or rather, pray.

I told God that I was disappointed. Yes, I looked it straight in the face. And God must have been working on my heart because instead of dwelling on it, I just accepted it. "Yes, we are fallen people... we disappoint each other. He is not perfect... and (what?)... that's okay." I actually felt that! And God comforted me, reminding that He never disappoints and He is always with me. Yes, for the first time, I could rest in God when I was disappointed and be okay with Coach not meeting my every need or want. It was liberating! I was still not looking forward to another hour on my own with a stir crazy toddler, but I trusted God would give me the strength. "I'm okay with you going." I said simply. And for the rest of the errands, I thought about it no more.

As we pulled up to our house, Coach said, "Why don't I take her with me to the football game? You can get some things done or relax."

"That would be wonderful!" I explained. And I marveled how I was so blessed. Blessed with a thoughtful husband, blessed with a break... blessed by a caring, loving God.

So I got some things done, and they both had a great time! I hadn't hoped for such a great outcome when I chose to sacrifice. It was gift alone to be able to do so, and I got another gift in return. I know it will not always feel this good or have such benefits, but I pray I will be able to sacrifice again when the opportunity arises.

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