Thursday, February 27, 2014

all these things :: february 27

heart & soul :: I wrote in my last post how I was in desperate need of a clear schedule. I got what I wanted from Monday-Wednesday, but by yesterday, I was about to go crazy. Not because I wanted to get out, but because we were all grouchy due to interrupted sleep for all of us because of Michael’s cold. It’s really hard for me to be joyful and patient when I’m tired. I have been allowing myself to sleep until 7, but it’s getting harder for me to accept having less time to myself and work on some things. I’m really struggling with being okay with not making progress on my goals.
mothering :: Overall, things are going okay, really. It’s just when I feel depleted most of the time, I’m not the mother I should be. We have started doing Morning Time again, and I’ve been doing “school” with Mia again too. We were working on writing numbers, but when accidentally said “letters” she got really excited, so we did that instead. She’s doing well.
home & kitchen :: We got some curtains and a few pictures hung up on Valentine’s Day, but not much else has happened. I have a plan to do more organizing in the extra room and set out all my decorations so I can start thinking about what would look good where.  What little decorating I had done, I redid yesterday. I realized I was doing what I had done in the past (which I never really liked the results). I was putting stuff somewhere because it needed to go somewhere, not because it is what I need to make that space the way I want it. I really want to take my time. Yes, I’ll try to use what I have, but I’m not going to use something just because I have it.
growth :: I’m sure I’m learning and growing during this hard time, but it feels more like being stuck. I am reading a lot, but most of it is more entertaining, although it’s edifying also. ~ I am at least thinking about the garden, and we have a list of what we’d like to grow. I still need to make plan. I’ve been reading through The Self-Sustainable Life and How to Live It some and learning some things. Taking care of my parents’ chickens is helping me form an idea of how I want to raise chickens. We are hoping to bring the chickens to our place this spring, but we have to sit down and really calculate the cost. I sure hope we can make it work!
Looking forward to … SPRING!!! Whenever it gets here. Although, that means my husband will be working 7 days a week, 10 hour days most days, and gone on some weekends. Actually, he already has that schedule. He was gone last weekend. It’s really not that much harder doing all the childcare, and I do enjoy a little extra space here and there, but mostly I miss him and it makes me sad to have him gone so much. Also, right now with only one car, if I don’t take him in, then I am stuck until 7 or 7:30, no matter what kind of day we have… But we are working on that.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

"state of the heart" post

My favorite view from the house. I can see my parents' house, and my favorite patch of trees (the sycamores).

Before we moved into the blue house, I envisioned life here as peaceful, slow, and collected. In knew I couldn’t be distracted by the Internet and so, all my jobs would be completed in a timely manner and I’d spend all my free time by the fire with my husband, doing crafts or projects, or reading a book. I’d go to bed at a decent time after a good day’s work.
Part of the time, life has been like this. But somehow the social calendar racked up, interfering with evening tasks and my bedtime routine. And all my free moments, while the kids are sleeping, are spent reading in order to zone out or sleeping. I am simply tired.
I wish I was the type of person who can host a few times a week, who can always have a hopping schedule. In my mind, this person has it SO together that she can do all these social things and have a clean home, well-fed family, and everyone well rested too. That there are people like that is probably a lie - or at least very rare. Regardless, I am not that person, as much as I wish I was. I need routine, time, space, and consistency like I need food and water. If I go too long without them I feel parched and weak.
Friends, that is where I am right now. The thought of staying at home and going nowhere, except church, for a month sounds really good right now. It’s not that I don’t love other people or want to see them, but that it drains me right now. I’ve been drained each day for two weeks straight. I need replenished.
It’s pretty unrealistic to hope to stay home so much, but I am going to be guarding our schedule. I just have to. Hopefully once spring is in full swing, I will be too.
With Lent right around the corner, I intend to be more vigilant with sticking to routine, keeping the schedule slow, and taking care of myself physically and spiritually.

How are you all doing? Are you going to slow things down for Lent?

Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Blue House :: Weeks 2 & 3

The Blue House :: Week 2 and 3

Sometimes the hardest thing is just doing the work that needs to be done. Other times, it’s just staring at it. That is what this past week has consisted of for me. I had to resign myself to just sitting on the couch, holding my son while he rested or reading to my daughter. Friends, we were sick.

I know it could have been much worse. There was no throw-up and by the grace of God, the dishes and food always got put away eventually. The laundry was folded and put away, with more hung in the evening. The daily messes of life were attended to. That’s pretty good when you have two sick kids and are recovering yourself.

Yet each evening and morning, I’d hope the day would be different. I’d hope the kids would just play and I could just work. But each morning, until Friday, it was the same. We sat around or watched movies, and in snippets I would barely get the daily basics done.

I knew I should remember that dirt will wait and to be thankful for what I could get done. And I did. And I was. At times. But you know these times are… a constant struggle.

And here I am today, the first day I don’t feel like I need a nap during quiet time. I’m hopeful for this week. Last week was full of spiritual work (how fruitful, I don’t know). I hope this week can be full of physical, concrete work. Yet, more so, I hope I can accept whatever kinds of week it is.

Here are some quick lists of what did get accomplished the past two weeks, and what I hope to do this week.

Week 2:

-          sunroom unpacked

-          new daily and weekly rhythms planned

-          new cleaning plan

-          Morning Time and school plans made

-          unpacked my clothes into a dresser from my parents

-          cabinets cleaned

-          some of the floor deep cleaned

-          laundry room shelves and hooks put up (by hubby)

Week 3:

-          kids’ toys organized into 3 rotations

-          kids’ big clothes organized and repacked

-          fan cleaned

-          curtain rods bought

This coming week:

-          finish cleaning the floor

-          clean walls

-          stain boards for entry way

-          paint curtain rods

-          make a plan for icon corner shelves

-          have friends over

-          start feeding the chickens at my parents (!!!)

Here are the pictures:

In case you forgot what it was like before...

And I realize now that my pictures of the sunroom and laundry room are still on my computer at home! Sigh. Well, another time!