Sunday, February 23, 2014

"state of the heart" post

My favorite view from the house. I can see my parents' house, and my favorite patch of trees (the sycamores).

Before we moved into the blue house, I envisioned life here as peaceful, slow, and collected. In knew I couldn’t be distracted by the Internet and so, all my jobs would be completed in a timely manner and I’d spend all my free time by the fire with my husband, doing crafts or projects, or reading a book. I’d go to bed at a decent time after a good day’s work.
Part of the time, life has been like this. But somehow the social calendar racked up, interfering with evening tasks and my bedtime routine. And all my free moments, while the kids are sleeping, are spent reading in order to zone out or sleeping. I am simply tired.
I wish I was the type of person who can host a few times a week, who can always have a hopping schedule. In my mind, this person has it SO together that she can do all these social things and have a clean home, well-fed family, and everyone well rested too. That there are people like that is probably a lie - or at least very rare. Regardless, I am not that person, as much as I wish I was. I need routine, time, space, and consistency like I need food and water. If I go too long without them I feel parched and weak.
Friends, that is where I am right now. The thought of staying at home and going nowhere, except church, for a month sounds really good right now. It’s not that I don’t love other people or want to see them, but that it drains me right now. I’ve been drained each day for two weeks straight. I need replenished.
It’s pretty unrealistic to hope to stay home so much, but I am going to be guarding our schedule. I just have to. Hopefully once spring is in full swing, I will be too.
With Lent right around the corner, I intend to be more vigilant with sticking to routine, keeping the schedule slow, and taking care of myself physically and spiritually.

How are you all doing? Are you going to slow things down for Lent?

1 comment:

  1. Bleak midwinter is made for hibernating! Perfect timing for you. When the busy season comes, you'll be ready then!
    Aunt Maureen