I listened to a podcast recently of the author of Small Notebook chatting with her friend at Simple Mom. They talked about how both of them don't really read many blogs, since they upkeep their blogs so much. When you're producing, Rachel put it, then you don't really have time to consume.
I've been mulling that comment over in my head since then. Lately I've been feeling like a shallow, dry sponge. Unable to take anything in and unable to squeeze anything out. However, I think the truth is that I am a giant, full sponge... holding it all in and processing very slowly.
I've been consuming. A lot. Not just blogs, but books, music, ideas, Scripture... Sweet Girl's presence. And I've just been soaking it all in. Producing a little - a few journal entries and some blog posts. But the amount of production compared to consumption is small. And I feel weighted down in both good and bad ways. Good in that I'm excited about the things I'm learning and bad in that sometimes what I read on blogs makes me wishful that my life was different, when in actuality, I'm very content.
My life is full, chasing a one-year-old, taking care of a house, being a wife. It's full and can be busy, but it's not like I don't have time to think. It's just that the time I have to think is spread out in short intervals. I have to realize that it's going to take me longer to process anything of depth that I consume.
And producing takes time too, especially creative producing. Sometimes things just come, like this post, but other times they don't, like as of lately. A lot of things are simply stopped up in my brain, and that's okay.
I'm still going to consume. That's the mode I'm in; I have a lot I want to learn and a lot to prepare for in the future. After all, I'm raising a family and that's a serious job!
So if you don't hear from me for a while, I'm sorry. It means I'm busy learning and absorbing. Once I process things, you can be sure I'll share. Sharing might just mean a list of things I'm consuming, but that's sharing nonetheless!