Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thoughtful Thursday: Less Room

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I experienced a change that no one told me would happen and I didn't read about in the books. As my belly grew bigger with this new life in me, the room in my life for other people and things got smaller. Not only was my body growing this new life, but my heart was changing too - mostly unconsciously. Friends whom I cared about and wanted to keep up with (but who didn't exactly reciprocate) had to be cut out. Learning and any deep thinking was pushed to the side. My whole mind, heart and body was focused on this precious one inside.

This time around, I felt that some in the beginning, mostly from being so tired. It's not as big of a jump this time around, having been through it before. But I'm starting to feel that crowding again. That need to par down in order to not feel overwhelmed.

I haven't been writing lately because things have be rough from switching Sweet Girl to her new bed. And although I have things to share, ideas jotted down, I don't feel too compelled to write. I don't really miss it. It simply takes too much energy and brain power - things I'm having less of these days.

I was expecting to take a long pause in writing, especially after he's born, but I didn't expect it to be this soon. I intend to write once a week, if I have something to share. However, I might not. Overall, I'm feeling less room for creating, sharing. It's getting close to time to hibernate again. To stick to the basics, the needs, the essentials. And I may have to stay this way for some time yet.

Blogging is a luxury for me, an extra. Now, when the baby comes, and until I feel balanced again, blogging will be way, way on the back burner. Part of me wants to share all I'm trying to accomplish, things I'm learning, and other thoughts in my head, but most of me simply wants to rest. And rest I will. I'm not going to be completely absent, but you will see less of me.

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