Going Back In Time

Saturday night I was in high school again, and at the same time, the me I am now. I attended my 10 year high school reunion. During the day, as the time got closer, I wondered why I decided to go. I had originally decided not to go, but my best friend from high school (and college, and now) decided to go and her reasons, at the time, made sense to me. After thinking about it more, I had decided to go.

I don't know what other high schools were like, but my class was very cliquey. You had the preps, the middle people, and the "druggies" - for lack of better terms. The middle people (the group I was in) had it's own little groups, some people closer to some than others, but we all got along and there was a lot of crossover between our groups. For example, those in band were close as were those in choir. But I was in choir and I still had friends who were in band.

Anyway, as I prepared to go to the reunion, I felt as if I had been invited to a prep party and that it would mostly be them and just a few of "us". I questioned why I was going. There were some people I was hoping would be there. Not being on Facebook, I'm not in the "know" about where people are and what they are doing, so I had lost touch with a few people I still liked.

In the end, I am glad I went, but I was right about feeling weird about it. It was still very cliquey and I didn't end up talking to too many people. I am glad I went for the sake of reconnecting with two girlfriends, one who's back in town too with a little girl just a few months younger than Sweet Girl. We had to leave just as the dinner was closing and the bonfire was started. If we had stayed longer, I'm sure I would have ended up talking to more people. As we drove away, I felt as if I had been a bit snobbish. But, I am shy and I didn't want to seem fake and talk to someone I didn't really talk to in high school. I wish I was more like Jesus and actually cared like He does for each and everyone one of them.

Everyone (and really only 20-30 people from our class were there) seemed to be pretty much the same as they were in high school, which was good and bad, depending on how they were of course. I'm sure everyone is more mature, but no one seemed to really move up or down in their "status", which really did make me sad for some people who I felt had great personalities and potential, but just were with the wrong crowd.

And now, two days later, I am still reliving that night, over and over. Sunday morning I felt as if I was trying to land on Earth again from a different planet. It felt so weird. How and why did high school have such a huge affect on me and why, after 10 years, am I reliving those days in my head and concerning myself with what those people (whom I haven't even given thought to in those 10 years) are doing and thinking?

Maybe it is because of those crazy teenage years and being with those people 8 hours a day, almost every day, for at least 4 years. It all didn't seem to matter a month ago. Now it's all I can think about. Pretty crazy and I can't seem to sort it out...