This Morning

It was very hard to get up this morning. I laid in bed an extra fifteen minutes after my alarm before forcing myself out of bed. I've had Sweet Girl's cold since Thursday and though it's better, I still don't feel great. After a my morning reading, I curled up and closed my eyes on the chair. I saw Coach get up, but I couldn't bring myself to get up again. Later when he walked through the living room again, I opened my eyes to talk to him. Then I hopped in the shower before he headed off to work. 

Sweet Girl slept in while I did some cleaning for the day, a little bit of Internet surfing, and debated about waking her up... twice. I walked in her room, pulled open the curtain... but when I went to lean down and rub her back, I just couldn't. There was no reason except that I don't want her up late. I just thought, "Well, maybe she needs this rest. I know she's a lot better from the cold, but maybe she just needs more." So I waited. However, I did leave her door open and turned on some classical music while I cleaned. It did rouse her eventually I think and at 10:30, my sleepyhead was awake. 

We dressed, prayed and nursed. I fixed scrambled eggs and she ate a whole egg's-worth. Then we shared the last muffin of a batch from last week - warm with a generous pat of butter. Just the way we like it. Inside, I felt a warm joy, spending my morning with my Sweet Girl.

Whatever is Pure

"... whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8b


We were eating our oatmeal together, Sweet Girl and me. There was newspaper crumpled on the table from a package recently opened. I thought I'd take a look at it. It was from Colorado and it's interesting to see what's going on somewhere else. So a picture caught my eye and I started reading. And when I finished, I was disgusted. I did not need to know about that. I wish I hadn't picked it up. That verse popped in my head and I realized what I should have been looking at and paying attention to all the while was right in front of me, and always is - my sweet, pure, innocent daughter... who is always teaching and reminding me of important things. Whether she knows it or not.

Plans

The plan was to leave Monday to visit my best friend who recently had her second child. But when Sweet Girl had a fever on Sunday, Plan B was to leave Tuesday. The fever was still there Monday night, so there was a dilemma of whether to leave Wednesday, or just leave next Monday since I had plans for the weekend. 

All day yesterday I fretted. Which was the better plan? Lord, make it clear to me, I prayed. Nothing, nothing until the evening; I felt we should just leave today. I let my friend know, I packed up the rest of our things and went to bed early. Sweet Girl hadn't had a fever all day. It was a great, normal day. We were set. 

But when she woke up over and over, 5, 10, 20 minutes apart. And felt very warm again, I knew we weren't going to go. And when she threw up all over me, there was no way I'd be able talk myself into it no matter how great she seemed to feel when she woke up. No, it just wasn't going to happen. 

I really don't like my plans getting changed and things not happening how I see them. I'm a planner by nature and when I have something in mind, it takes a while for me to reprogram my brain to accept a different plan. When we were living the baseball life, this was quite a problem until I just planned on not knowing. As long as I knew I wouldn't know I was okay... for the most part. Now that my life is much more predictable, I am back to liking it that way and not being as flexible. 

In my devotional book, Jesus Calling, it recently talked about not planning. I took it half seriously knowing that I had also read that for every minute you plan, you save ten minutes of the future. "Yes, planning is good." I thought. And that is true... to a degree. But when planning becomes my security, and I get frustrated when my plans get changed, then it is not good. Planning is important, but it must be flexible. And it must not become an idle. I must have faith in Christ that if my plans change, then that is okay. It may even be better than what I had planned. I need to remember to ask God to bless me when I make plans, and to guide me as I make decisions about the future. I am always being reminded of how I need to make God a part of every aspect of my life. Every part.